Motherhood Shifts

Author: Sammy (Amick) Feltes , Therapist at Stillpoint

I anticipated my friendships changing when I had a baby, but I am not sure I could have known what to expect. Many of my friends shared my excitement about pregnancy and entering motherhood but once you bring a baby into the world, things change. Many of my friends doted over my daughter when she was born, some brought food and self-care items to make sure we were hanging in there, and some took more space to allow us to adjust. I was no longer the friend that could make plans on the fly or even make a weekly dinner date. The first few months, it was hard to recognize myself and find my groove as a mom, let alone still engage in the relationships that I had before this. Survival mode is no joke!

As we have come out of survival mode and have gotten more used to our new normal, if you want to call it that since it is forever changing with a child, it has brought more shifts and changes in me and my friendships. One thing that I have noticed is that I am more of a homebody and enjoy the slower lifestyle. I enjoy the time at home with my family, watching our daughter play, making family dinners, walking around our neighborhood, and staying in our comfy clothes. This has been quite the shift from the on-the-go, excited for last minute plans, and down for whatever friend. I realized that I am not able to show up in relationships like I had before, so I am working on figuring out what is important to me in relationships, how to show up in a way that works for me and my family, and how to still prioritize myself. I have been working on bringing awareness to and processing these changes (a little grief), communicating wants and needs to my people, and learning to be okay with not connecting as much.