In all loss, there is consistently a loss of self, “we lose what we once were, in order to become what we will be.”
- Josh Stanley
SET THE STAGE
Pivoting is a component of every step in the Circles of Healing.
Pivoting is it’s own phase as well as a component of every phase in the Cycles of Healing.
Abbey describes a pivot as centering into wherever you might be with full awareness of this space, and then the turning begins. A pivot is being rooted in a space of where you have been, awareness of where you hope to go, and an actual pivot towards what you desire.
There is a good metaphor for an intentional/chosen pivot in that of a basketball player. After the point guard runs down the court and calls a play, there is a point when they pause, then they plant one of their feet in order to allow the other to pivot. The pivoting foot can freely move until there is an opportunity to make a play. This whole process happens within milliseconds. Much like in life sometimes.
Sometimes, however, there are unchosen, unintentional pivots that are required of us. We did not choose a metaphor for this, mostly because we think you can identify an example of this within your life. What we do want to share is that even in the unchosen, there are pivots we have the opportunity to choose. Life changes on a daily basis - and whether we recognize it or not we pivot out of choice or necessity. Either way, chosen or unchosen - pivot we do.
We never forget the loss, whether that is a loved one, a relationship, a dream. We never forget our people, expectations, hopes and dreams. Even in transformation, there is remembrance.
Having the ability to move into what life could and will be in regards to what and/or who has been lost, that does not mean we still do not feel intense sorrow and grieve these losses.
If we focus solely on the losses we experience and never gain the awareness necessary to shift into what could be possible and the hope that accompanies that shift, we would be in a deep, dark space without any way out.
In processing losses we have experienced over time, we have realized that in all of them, we end up gaining in ways we never dreamt imaginable. For example, I lose protective measures so I can ground, be present and grow. I lose an environment that was only meant for sprouting in order to root and fully be supported.
What we know is that after awareness, there is a shift into the process of healing, the process of transformation.
Pivot Point: Where You Break Free
Therapist Beth Johnson’s blog is one of many examples we could provide that explains the importance of an internal pivot versus an external pivot. Setting intention within yourself versus outside of yourself allows us to more accurately measure what we want to be possible in pivoting. We invite you to read her blog and allow yourself to explore how you have been measuring items of internal significance to you by external standards.
A Pivotal Part of Life
As we continue to explore pivoting, therapist Josh Stanley is inviting you to consider all of the ways you have pivoted and will continue to pivot. He believes pivoting to be an integral step throughout a Circle of Healing. He invites you to explore through his own life’s pivots, how pivoting can be embraced as essential within your life.
THE INTENDED SHIFT
"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn..."
- RW Emerson
This shift into focusing on the future is where the work begins in order to stop the cycles, triggers, and address the stuckness. We have been working to prepare for this moment, the moment where the deep work can occur. This is like the very bottom of an inverted bell curve, much like the loss cycle image we have designed. This is the process of grief, of healing, of gaining transformation. Getting to this point can take a varying amount of time.
As a seed has the potential to bear fruit; we have the potential to bear fruit out of the process of loss and transformation. As Beth has shared before, “Seeds are a sacred metaphor for life and renewal”.
Today we invite you to consider what seeds do you want to plant within yourself, within your relationships, among your environment, within your life?
The answer to this question holds your intention, or rather your seed. This intention is the choice that sets things in motion whether known or not. If we can become aware of what we want to plant we gain the ability to be present to the process. The process that is unknown, but expected. The process that bears fruit and change. The process that has a proven plan, but can contain several plans that are possible. Entering the realm of possibility by planting your seed, or intention offers the promise of an outcome. And a mystery to what the loss might be.
Learn More About The Pivot
Therapist Abbey Parker is inviting you into exploring pivotal opportunities in your life. As Josh outlined, “Pivoting can provide a moment of clarity and foresight into what direction we wish to move”. We invite you to sign up for this one-time free email and begin exploring the call to pivot.
NAVIGATE THE POSSIBILITIES
You could call this imagery a model for healing, within Cycles of Healing, we identify what we want or believe to be possible or identify what we believe to be possible. There are cycles to Pause, Plant, Process, Pivot or Practice. We are not prescribing to this order indefinitely, we invite flexibility to identify what parts are important and how these cycles connect with you. We want to offer opportunities for you to explore, name and create possibilities and join us in working towards what you desire.
A stop or rest. Victor Frankl describes this type of pause, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
To put or set in the ground to grow (etymology.com). This part of the cycle offers an opportunity to ground yourself from within before making any actionable step. It is both a noun and a verb. To cultivate and to ground.
To grieve what is or has been lost and to identify and experience the hope for the future. We have broken up this content into 2 pages: the concentration on the loss we have experienced and the ability to transform through loss with hope for the future.